Answer to Prayer

August 1, 2010

So, I am abashed to say that I prayed to meet another voice-hearer in real life, and I did! But when someone I knew came up out of the blue and told me they heard voices, and started asking me lots of very detailed questions about wether I heard voices or not, I LIED TO HIM. I kept up the lie even after he admitted that he heard voices.

God, what are you trying to tell me? I agreed with him when he said much more of life was more of a spiritual battle than we realize. Fight the good fight and all that, train for better Christendom. But I cannot concede that all voices are either A) demonic forces or B) nothing but shadows of one’s own desire or weaknesses.

My bible-study leader sort of offered letter B as an explanation when I talked with him last week, which I could not accept. But I did admit that he might have been right that I was depending on Shirley too much, and needed to turn to my healer and creator. (After I cried like a fire hydrant when he suggested they weren’t real.)

Hasn’t Shirley often said, when I come to her with my problems “I’m not your God.”

Question: Would a demonic  force tell me to pray more often, or ask to read Jonah again because it is a good story? Would a figment be this creative, clever or demanding?

Another question: What is she, if I don’t believe in spirits of the dead that roam the earth after death?

My current answer? Shirley is a person. (And I rather like her company, even if we do fight sometimes.)


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