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Anxiety and Heat

June 9, 2010

The summer heat is giving me anxiety. Year after year I find in the summertime I am anxious, irritable, paranoid and prone to being obsessive compulsive, more often and more intensely than I am any other time of the year. It’s like some kind of reverse seasonal affective disorder.

I’ve also been quieter and social interaction seems to be more of a challenge than usual. Sometimes I’m even spiteful. I know the weather is not and end-all or an excuse, and I’ll be doing my best to behave, but I cannot wait to get out of here, or at least for the season to change. But It’s just started. And I didn’t even mention the hurricanes and what happens when the power goes out.

The other day I was feeling sad, and my brother arrived and pulled out his guitar. He started playing a song, and Shirley came in and sat down next to me. “How are you doing?” She asked softly. “Ok, I guess. As long as the music is playing. But what will we do when the song ends?” I was also speaking about how he was moving away soon, and how I would miss him. “Lets pretend the music never ends,” Shirley said, breaking into a grin. I nodded, and we listened in rapture as it would never end.

The song did come to a close though.

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