April 25, 2010

It seems like no matter who I talk to about my condition all I get are opinions. Opinions opinions opinions. Sometimes they claim to have the truth or have fact, but then you to go someone else and they undermine or contradict the other person. Sometimes they even claim to be using the same source. It’s so frustrating!

Maybe this is what the verse (Ephesians 4:14) is talking about, saying that the immature in Christ are, “tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching”.

Shirley absolutely does not tolerate misunderstandings, especially ones concerning me trying to explain myself. She’s keeps going back to a conversation I had and re-playing all the parts where I didn’t explain myself properly, or said something wrong. (Which was basically the whole thing.) I know others who don’t hear voices often end up re-playing conversations with people. It can be counterproductive after a certain point. Anyhow, Shirley often takes the bible at it’s word since we believe it to be a divine source, and so she urges me to search through it and find answers to our questions.

Well if the bible addresses mental illness I missed it. If it addresses visits from confused spirits who often arrive during stressful times in our life, it if addresses hallucinations, then I must have been out of town for that lesson in sunday school. But I do know it addresses depression and anxiety and trials and snares and human struggles. So I will continue scouring it for answers, but I suspect they won’t be as specific as Shirley wants. In the meantime, I’ll continue searching the world for practical advice as well Though it’s hard to keep hopeful when it seems like no matter where I go I end up awash in a sea of opinions. Maybe it’s just trial and error. I’d like to avoid as much error as I can though. Falling hurts. It hurts like hell.

I just need something solid.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: