April 20, 2010

I’m not even sure if I want to address this in my blog because it’s sort of a dangerous to people prone to delusions. If you can handle it, read on.

This week I’ve been thinking about car crashes. I even mentioned it to my friend a few days before what happened with my friend’s brother (read the previous post if you’re confused by that.)

I told myself no one was going to get in a car crash. It was just a worry I was having; I have lots of those. I dismissed it. But then a few days later…

So now of course I’m second guessing other stuff. I just have a feeling the whole country is going to become unsafe, people are going to turn on one another and kill for food and supplies. But maybe I’ve just been reading too many disaster books/apocalyptic movies. I also feel like I have special powers, which has kind of been reinforced by this.

And it’s really hard when respectable, functioning, mostly sane people start to agree with you. When others talk about some of the things I’m afraid of I claim to not believe it. But I sort of do… I feel like the days of normal, safe, quiet life are growing short. Then again, over a thousand days ago I was absolutely convinced I was going to die. My early voices told me so.

Another weird thing about this last week there has been general bad news and stuff from 9 out of 10 people I talk to. A different friend said she randomly worried about getting robbed, and then a few days later someone she knew got robbed. Three of my friends experienced breakups, a ton of people got in trouble and got fired at her work, yeah and my brother’s laptop is gradually biting the dust, and then this morning his desktop crashed.

Oh well I guess I just have to pray and let it go, rub some peppermint oil on my temples and go to sleep.


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