A Sensation of Falling

March 24, 2010

I was writing in my diary when I “saw” my door open. I was looking down at my journal, yet I could see behind me to my bedroom door. (Which is normal. Things in my second world can be seen even behind me. It’s more of a visual knowledge than actual vision.) A thin, tall, boney creature with one eye looked my room and stared pointedly at me, leaning forward.

“Oh God… Shirley. This is weird,” I whispered, but my lips stayed immobile.

“Just pretend you don’t know he’s there, maybe he’ll think he got the wrong person.” Shirley whispered back, arms wrapped around her as if against a chill.

I followed her advice and after twenty minutes his presence dissipated. It shook me up, though. When I turned out the light and laid my head down, I felt the sudden and sharp sensation of falling. I opened my eyes and stared into the dark, not seeing much because I was not dark adapted yet. I relaxed as best I could and closed my eyes again, but again came the falling and the accompanying lurch in my stomach. I kept them closed and waited it out. It stopped after a few seconds.

I suddenly remembered I didn’t set my alarm clock, and got up to set it. My hand wouldn’t obey me and neither would my feet. I felt like my connection with my body was slightly skewed. I could hardly stay upright. The world rocked beneath me and I stumbled back to bed. I grabbed a pen and scribbled on my hand so I’d know in the morning if it was a dream or not.

So I told someone about my falling experiences this morning, and they told me it was normal to experience that right before you fall asleep. Only problem is, I’ve experienced it twice more today, in the daytime while I’m fully awake.

It should go away soon. Most of my symptoms seem to stay for a few days and then go away till months later. Except for the ones that never go away. Like Shirley. *grins* Who resents being grouped with the ‘symptoms.’ Truth be told I don’t really consider her apart of my illness anymore. Just apart of my everyday challenges of living.



  1. I have that too and I am getting used to it being normal everyday life. It’s funny what you can get accustomed to, isn’t it? Some of the things I think of as being small…like the voices…other people think is a huge deal.

  2. It seems to be slowing down; this is day four and it is getting better. But i’m still experiencing the dizziness and distortions in my vision (but my vision has been doing that for a long time.)

    And yes, it is amazing what we can get used to. *elbow jabs Shirley.* šŸ˜€

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