TWLOHA t-shirt

March 8, 2010

Mine showed up (I ordered this one) on saturday. 😀

As I reached into the mailbox, I heard Shirley start to raise her voice. I groaned. “Why are you angry with me?”

“It’s so blatant!” Her words at this point don’t mean much, not with the arrows of dissipointment, disagreement, disregard, and overall disrespect flying at me. “You’re really going to wear that?” I ducked as best I could. The heat rose some in the white room. “What will people think?” Lots of pictures and memories come flooding in via Shirley. It’s hard to translate to english. She brought up all the times people thought I was faking my illness, faking my problems in exchange for shame they called ‘attention’. She told me what she knew would happen.

“Can you just be quiet, please? It’s my choice! this is my life, remember?” I stopped and faced her, lingering at the driveway. “If I can help someone who is where I’ve been, won’t it be worth the shame?”

I felt something shift in her opinion, like those sliding puzzles… the beginnings of change…

Trying to breathe the opposition away, I sat down on some warm bricks in a patch of sunlight. “Fine,” I smirked. “I’m just going to sit here till you forgive me.” This meaning of forgiveness adhered itself to the concept of sunlight and the passage of time, implying the natural course of evaporation. I laid down and made a show of settling in, using the pile of mail as my pillow.

Shirley rolled her eyes but began to smile. She knew I’d gotten her with the creation of a new word.  So she  down beside me and waited as the sunlight evaporated her opposition. The progress went slow, but after forty minutes under the sky, we had started bantering again. Her opposition became just words, with laughter behind them. When I no longer felt her voice rising when my thoughts glanced at the issue, I stood and she followed me into the house, reconciled(hand in hand. That’s what the word means, in our thought-language.).

A few days later (after more evaporation) I finally wore it, and guess what? I got none of the pointing fingers or assumptions she predicted, although no one mentioned it. But it was ok. I felt like I had happened upon a meaningful billboard, a reminder of what’s in construction ahead. What would it be like if love really was the movement?


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