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Eggnog with a shot of Anxiety

December 26, 2009

This Christmas I was excited about a lot. I had bad anxiety though, in the morning. After opening stockings and before opening more gifts, between the phone calls and well wishing, My mind was thinking, This is great, yay christmas i’ve been waiting all year, oh crap anxiety attack… meanwhile my body was screaming RUN! Yet I seemed to have no energy to carry me anywhere. I wanted to unzip my body and step out of it. It’s all physical. It makes my hands shake and my body feel like it’s going to step wrong the next and send me tumbling to the ground…

I had a positive attitude, I just was bummed and bothered and all that by it. I knew there was nothing to be afraid of, I knew it would pass. I looked online for ideas on how to handle it but none of it seemed helpful! I just tried to breathe and slow down (I was pacing faster and faster, that seemed to make it worse…)

I haven’t had an anxiety attack in a really long time, but I didn’t dwell on it. I slowed down and it eventually faded and I went back to having fun. *shrugs* What else could I do? I usually get anxiety when good things happen. it’s like the excitement goes sour in my body but in my mind the excitement is there. There’s no fear, just a surge of energy with no where to go. The fear ones are even less fun.

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